Ready or Not…There Goes the Summer! #BackToSchool2023
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The end of summer is always a bittersweet time for kids. On the one hand, many kids (and caretakers) are excited to start a new school year with new friends, teachers, and activities. On the other hand, they're sad to say goodbye to long, lazy days of summer vacation (think of their "emotional soundtrack" as abruptly switching from Pharrell's "Happy" to Skynyrd's "Tuesday's Gone.").
So - You are either in the midst of it, or are currently staring down the following situation:
Transitioning from the self-directed and less-structured days of summer to the impending, and seemingly never-ending days of teacher-directed and (hopefully) structured demands and environments of school.
I think it comes as no surprise to us that this can be a challenge for both kids and parents. Here are a few tips to help make the transition a little smoother:
Start slowly, and don't buy into the pressure from the various school-supply retailer marketing campaigns. If you don't get your kid those brand-name noise cancelling headphones, I'm pretty sure they'll still be fine, and I'm very certain that it doesn't make you a bad parent/caregiver. So, take a deep breath, and don't try to cram everything into the first week of school. Start by gradually adjusting your child's bedtime, wake-up time, and mealtimes. You can also start adding in some academic activities, such as reading, math, or writing, for a few minutes each day.
Talk to your child! Hopefully this won't be the first interaction since schools closed their doors for summer. Either way, find a time when you all are feeling emotionally calm, have at least 15 minutes of uninterrupted time (or however much time you know you and your learner need to have a productive conversation), and everyone's able to focus for a bit. Also,\ this doesn't have to be (and probably shouldn’t be) a one-time conversation, and you don't need to cover all of these topics at once (or ever, if you don't think it would be useful to your situation). Ask them what went well last year! Rating Scales and Visual Supports can be helpful for our learners who have a hard time communicating, so please use whatever method of communication and supports you know work for you all best. Ask them what could have made the year better (an 8 or 9 out of 10, big smiley face, etc.). Be sure to avoid criticizing! Walk away or hit the “pause button” on the conversation if either of you get caught-up in the challenges and frustrations of last year, AND have a hard time moving past it. Validate their feelings. Thank them for sharing with you. Have them ask you the same questions if this can be done in a fun and supportive manner. Brainstorm a few things that you all tried last year to help make school easier and more fun. Decide whether they were really helpful, a little helpful, a little unhelpful, or super unhelpful. Talk about whether it would make sense to do the things that were helpful again. Think about whether any of the unhelpful or less helpful strategies could be adjusted to be more helpful. Come up with structures and strategies together. They need to be realistic/doable, worth the effort, and most of all, they need to be something that your learner is excited about (but we will settle for "curious and open to trying"). Ask about their concerns. Some kids may be worried about making new friends, doing well in school, or being away from home for longer periods of time. For some kids, it might feel uncomfrotable or unsafe to discuss concerns with others. If that rings true to you and your learner, try to share some of your concerns about your upcoming year. It's important to normalize talking about fears, and using these situations as opportunities to look past the problem or fear and identify and practice strategies to use if those situations arise. Talk to your child about their concerns and help them come up with strategies for dealing with them. Consider modeling how you might use this approach with fears that you have about your year.
Get organized. Help your child get organized for the new school year by setting up their study space at home, their backpack, getting their school supplies ready, making schedules, etc.. It is super important to teach them why the structure that the school is asking the kids to use is useful (8 times out of 10, it actually is). Talk about what tends to happen if we use organizational systems effectively and consistently (e.g., Your teachers are happy, you don’t lose your hard work, you won’t feel anxious or angry looking for materials as often, you earn points/marbles/stickers toward your home reward system, etc.). If there are opportunities for more creative approaches, have your learner think of ways that their strategies for organizing materials could be useful. If they are able to do some of their own research, Pinterest can be a treasure-trove of organizational strategies. Help them see the pros and cons to different organizational strategies. You can also help them create a to-do list for each day.
Be positive. Show your child that you're excited for the new school year. Talk about all the fun things they'll get to do, such as learning new things, making new friends, and participating in extracurricular activities. Reassure them that they have a lot of people on their team who are there to help them if anything comes up.
Be patient. It takes time for humans (e.g., toddlers, children, tweens, adolescents, adults, and everyone in between) to adjust to a new routine. Be patient with your child and give them time to get used to the new school year. Show your child grace, and do your best to channel your inner “Mr. Rogers” when you have to talk through the structures, strategies, and routines together for the 100th time. Just as important as showing patience with your child is to be patient with yourself. It’s not just kids who would benefit from a Fred Rogers pep-talk. Remember, it takes time to develop new routines and habits, and time takes time.
With all of that being said…Please remember that there is NO magic formula to ensure your learner's school year goes perfectly, so don’t put that pressure on yourself (go back to the mantra of "I/We will focus on what is within my/our realm of control.").
However, we do believe that following these tips is one way that you can help set the stage for a successful transition from summer to school. We hope that these strategies can help smooth-over a few of the bumps in the road at the start of the new school year. Wishing you all a meaningful Back-To-School Season filled with hopes for a growth-filled year!
Best,
Evan Gallena, Ed.S., NCSP
Founder & Lead-Consultant: GPS Education Consulting L.L.C.
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Email us at Evan@GPSEducationConsulting.net if you have any questions!
Also, visit our contact page to schedule your FREE review.
Let’s navigate the path to school success together!
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